© NATALI COHEN VAXBERG
© NATALI COHEN VAXBERG

 

 Who just rape me? Who? Who?

Neither a Sudanese nor an Eritrean.

Who just launched into me?

Neither Hamas nor Islamic Jihad.

 

So who opened up my pussy

and inserted a draft order?

A soldier raped me and not you!

A soldier raped me and not you!

 

And he was a super-hottie

His Uzi swang aloft

So who tore up my clitoris and shoved me “Amud Anan”?

(IDF military offensive in Gaza)

 

I am not really happy. I am not really proud of it. I just can’t allow myself to be depressed. I have to prepare for three graduation exams.

I don’t understand how it happened to me of all people. I am the one of those kids who always prepares the biggest and nicest soldier gifts with the most candy. I donare my allowance to lone soldiers and to IDF handicapped veterans.

Giving my seat to the elderly in the bus?

 

I’ve been a bit sloppy at that. I admit. But there was never a single soldier I didn’t give my bus seat to. Never!

But what is all that  worth if at the moment of truth I blew it? This soldier just made the smallest of requests: A fuck! Just fuck! And me, like a spoiled little girl who doesn’t understand shit, I refused. I sad “no” and made him force it on me.

He fights for me. For us. And me, like a parasite, a draft dodger, whore and daughter of a whore, I said “no” to him. I am an embarrassment to our youth, an embarrassment to our education system and the state.

A slut-that’s what I am! That’s what I am! A slut! SLUT!

SHARMUTA!

Poor boy, simply a poor boy. I just saw it in his eyes, his feelings of guilt. He was suffering. He didn’t enjoy forcing it upon me. But I left him no choice.

For so long has this poor soldier seen only Arab women, so it’s obvious he wouldn’t be able to control himself when he saw a Jewish woman, instead of giving him a good feeling.

Make him feel at home, and tell him softly and politely: “My pussy is all yours, soldier. The east bank and the west bank, and everything in between too” but I said “NO”

What? Am I only a slave to my sexual impulses?! To let myself off the hook so easily just because “I didn’t feel like it”?! Do we get to do only what we feel like?! Instead of thinking logically, that sleeping with a soldier is contributing to him and contributing to him is contributing to the state. I let my impulses take over me .

It’s good that he did that forcefully!

It looks as if that’s  the only way I really understand, what it’s like to be a soldier who fights so that a pissant like myself can live here. Do someone like myself deserve to even live here? Do I even deserve to live? Do I deserve? Do I deserve?

DO!?!

And to think that the first thing that came to my mind afterwards was to go to the police

I should be thankful that he used a condom!

That he used a lubricant for easy penetration

That he didn’t complain, even once, that I hadn’t shaved my pussy and he gave me a warning before the penetration, he explicitly informed me that if I refused he would be obliged to use force.

Show me a single soldier in the world who would behave like this. A single soldier!

So, just because we have the most moral army in the world, does it mean it can be taken advantage of?!

Huh?!

HUH?!

HUH!?!

 

 

 

 

 


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